Sounds of Silence: A Contemporary Romance Read online

  I agreed, which was the only reason my sister finally left my room. When I was surrounded by silence again, I let out a sigh.

  I didn’t tell Michelle about what happened with Calum because it wasn’t worth talking about. He clearly didn’t like me. This second date was nothing more than a pity date, and I wasn’t stupid enough to believe otherwise.

  Maybe I should cancel…

  But how would I cancel if I didn’t have his number? There was no way I could tell Michelle to tell Kyle to let Calum know that I wanted to cancel. She wouldn’t do it. She wanted me to go out on dates, wanted me to get a boyfriend and be more like her, be normal.

  I would never be like her, though. I’d never be normal, and I hated that she wanted that for me.

  I’d kept Mason to myself, and I did wonder if I told her about how much time I had to spend with him if it would change her view on me going out with Calum. One guy taking up my time was enough, wasn’t it? Mason was a necessary evil; Calum was not. Calum was…well, I wasn’t sure what he was.

  Ugh. Why did my life have to suck so much? I never asked for any of this.

  I went to bed that night, unable to sleep, worrying about everything too much.

  Mason was waiting for me just outside the classroom. He held onto his usual traffic mug, but he also held onto…was that a Dunkin Donuts cup? His light brown hair was swept to the side today, a black shirt snug on his chest, its sleeves rolled up. No jacket or hoodie. His bag hung off a single shoulder, and as he leaned there against the wall, he truly did look handsome.

  When he spotted me, a wide grin broke out on his face, and he practically skipped to meet me. “Morning,” he said, far too awake and chipper this morning. “I stopped and got this for you. I know you don’t like coffee, but surely you like hot chocolate?” He offered me the Dunkin cup.

  Hot chocolate? It wasn’t that cold outside yet…

  He practically pushed it on me before I could say no. The cup was warm in my hands, and I didn’t know what to say.

  “Come on,” he said, walking towards the classroom door. “Let’s grab our seats before someone else steals them.”

  I could not stop my eyes from rolling at that. No one stole seats on purpose in college. Everyone had their routine that they stuck to, their chosen seats they’d sat in on the first day that stuck. No one switched it up purposefully…except Mason, who now had to sit directly beside me and glance at me every few moments, as if I didn’t catch him looking.

  I did. I did, and I had no idea why he kept looking at me so much.

  Mason walked in, and I headed inside the classroom shortly after. He sat down first, which meant I had to squeeze past him to get to my seat further in the row—pretty sure he did that on purpose, like he wanted to be seated to watch me walk by. The weirdo. There were much prettier girls in the room to ogle than me, so I had no idea why he insisted on being like this.

  I got out my notebook and pen, my eyes on the cup of hot chocolate. When was the last time I drank hot chocolate? I couldn’t even remember.

  Mason leaned over to me, and I could feel his breath on my face as he asked, “How are you on this fine, sunny morning?”

  “Great,” I said, though I didn’t sound like it. I sounded like I was a bit cranky, a little irritable, like I hadn’t gotten much sleep last night. Which was true. I’d spent most of the night wondering how I could cancel the date I had with Calum on Friday.

  His warm, amber eyes sparkled. “Somehow I don’t think you’re great.” He took another sip from his travel mug, and that made me realize that he’d swung by Dunkin Donuts to get me this hot chocolate.

  Me. Just me. He brought his own coffee from home. He’d gone out of his way for me…why?

  “You look tired,” he went on, able to read me too well. I didn’t like it. I liked having my walls up, no one paying any attention to me or giving me a second glance. Mason was just…I didn’t even know how to describe him. Too intuitive. Too watchful of me. Too caring?

  I ran my finger around the lid of the hot chocolate. We still had about five minutes before class started, so there was plenty of time to talk. The problem was I didn’t want to talk to him, not about what kept me up at night.

  “You can talk to me, you know,” he whispered as the room slowly got more packed. “About anything. We’re partners—that means we stick together through thick and thin, sickness and health, till death do us part.” His tone oozed sarcasm, like he knew he was talking about marriage and not psychology partners, and yet he still went ahead and said it anyway.

  I’d realized a while ago Mason liked to hear himself talk. It was somewhat off-putting, at first, but now…what could I say? I guess I’d grown used to it.

  Heaving a sigh, I muttered, “My sister reminded me I have a date this Friday.”

  Mason’s eyes widened, and he could not hide his shock, “A date? Another? I thought you said you don’t do dates.”

  “I don’t.” I really didn’t, so the fact that I had another with Calum truly was something out of the ordinary. “It’s a makeup date, for how horrible the last one went.” I squirmed a bit, feeling weird talking about this with Mason. He stared at me a tad too intently for my liking, almost like…well, almost like he was jealous, like he himself wished he was the one going on the date with me.

  That was stupid, a hormonal teenage fantasy that I had no idea why it popped into my head to begin with.

  “Huh,” Mason spoke, though, for once, he didn’t say much besides that. He did not appear to be his usual, happy-go-lucky self.

  “What?” I didn’t know why I asked, why I cared, but…damn it, I did. I did, even though I shouldn’t. In the last week and a half, somehow Mason had become a staple in my life. When I lied away in bed at night—when I wasn’t lost in my own head wondering how I could possibly cancel Friday’s date—he occasionally crossed my thoughts. His dimpled smile, his inviting eyes, the leanness of his body and his easygoing demeanor.

  He shot me a smile. “It’s nothing.”

  It certainly didn’t seem like nothing.

  “I just…I was going to see if you wanted to get together Friday to work on the questionnaire.” He shrugged. “It’s fine, though. I know how much you love going on dates.” The dimples appeared in his cheeks, and whatever slight jealous undertone that had been in his voice before faded. “There’s always Saturday or Sunday—and then you can feel free to tell me how awful the date was.”

  I knew he was joking, but I couldn’t stop myself from asking, “You think it’s going to be awful?” Silly how I looked for reassurance from him, like I wanted someone else’s opinion that it truly would be awful so I wouldn’t feel bad about canceling.

  My mind was a strange place.

  Mason grew serious. Class was set to start, and the last thing he told me was: “I think any guy who doesn’t treat you right the first time doesn’t deserve a second chance.”

  The professor began to talk in the front of the class, which meant I couldn’t ask him exactly what he meant by that. But, you know, I wasn’t sure I wanted to. When he told me those words, when he spoke them so earnestly, I felt my cheeks flare up, and I had to look away. Suddenly it wasn’t just my hand holding onto the hot chocolate Mason bought me that was overheating. It was all of me.

  How could he say those words and mean them? He didn’t know me. Before last Monday, he never even said one word to me in passing. Things didn’t change that fast. They couldn’t. I wasn’t the type of girl anyone fell head over heels for, so I knew better than to think he had some kind of crush on me.

  I was afraid I was starting to feel for Mason. It was impossible not to let his personality rub off on me, especially when we spent so much time together.

  Before class was over, I drank the entire hot chocolate Mason had bought for me, and as I finished it, I realized it’d been far too long since I’d drank any hot chocolate. Warm and sweet, it tasted good. Who said it was just for warming up your bones after a few hours spent outside in
the snow, like my parents had told Michelle and me when we were growing up?

  Hot chocolate was for any occasion.

  Mason brought me yet another hot chocolate before Friday’s class, and this time I made no qualms about waiting to drink it. I’d spent my time trying to focus on Mason and his strangeness instead of my impending date, since Michelle had made it clear she would never forgive me if I canceled on Calum.

  I was being forced to go on this date tonight, and I knew it would be yet another shitshow—only this time, Calum and I would be alone. No Kyle or Michelle to watch over us and keep us talking. We would drown in the awkwardness tonight, that’s for sure.

  When class let out, Mason followed me in the hall, hurrying to walk beside me. “So,” he said, eyeing me up. “Still going on that date tonight?”

  We headed down the stairwell. I wasn’t sure if he’d walk with me to my next class, or if he had someplace else to go, but judging from how intent he was on me, it looked like the former.

  “My sister wouldn’t let me cancel, so yeah,” I said, squinting as I pushed outside. The sidewalks were jampacked with other students hurrying to and from class, but I took my time walking. Mason stuck by my side the entire time, never slowing or looking as if he wanted to leave. I tossed a curious glance at him. “Why?” He’d mentioned him and I getting together to work on the questionnaire, but surely he had something else he’d rather do on a Friday night?

  His shoulders shrugged. “No reason. Just wondering.”

  Seemed fake, but okay. I wasn’t sure why the hell he would just wonder anything about me. Then again…I had no idea why Mason did anything he did. He was very insistent on me, and I didn’t know what to make of that.

  Something occurred to me then, something that hadn’t occurred to me before. My feet stopped walking, and I nearly caused half a dozen other students to walk into me as I darted off the sidewalk to get out of the way. My Vans hit the grass, and I watched as Mason followed me, grinning at the students who’d smacked into him during his sudden change of direction.

  He smiled at everyone else the same way he smiled at me, didn’t he? He wasn’t doing anything special for me. No. No way. That just wasn’t possible.

  “Mason,” I started, not feeling nearly as courageous as I should be to ask what I was about to ask. I couldn’t let this, whatever it was, continue, unless I voiced my worry, my concern—and my concern was whether or not I was being played.

  Never thought I’d have to worry about that, but I guessed what they said was true: there was a first time for everything. It could be that Mason just wanted into the freak’s pants. He was a guy, after all, and guys were all about sex.

  He instantly knew something was up. His brown eyebrows furrowed, and he looked at me worriedly. “What’s wrong? Did I do something? I know I might seem over the top sometimes, but I—”

  “That’s not it,” I said.

  “Is it because I asked about your date?” he guessed. “If you don’t want me to talk about it, I won’t. I just—”

  I knew he would go on and on unless I stopped him and told him exactly what this was about, so I cut in, “Why are you doing this?”

  That made him stop and give me the most bizarre look I thought his face could muster up. “What are you talking about? Why am I doing what?”

  “Why are you acting like…like you want to be more than partners? Like you care about my dating life and what I do on my weekends.” The more I rambled, the crazier I sounded, I was well aware. “Like you’re jealous that I have a date tonight?” When I saw the expression on Mason’s face, I instantly stopped myself from saying anything more.

  The way he stared at me told me I could not be more off-base, that everything I’d said was completely and utterly wrong.

  “Oh, God,” I whispered, taking a step away from him. “I’m sorry. I totally read too much into it.” If I could’ve smacked myself, I would have. I knew better than to put more weight on things. I knew better than this. “Forget I said anything.”

  I hurried away, mostly because I was so embarrassed I felt my cheeks flaming. I really wished I could go home and bury my face in my pillow, pretend, just for a few hours, that the world outside didn’t exist, that Mason and Calum were not my problems, and that everything was normal.

  Who knew talking to attractive guys would make my mind get so jumbled? I felt like an idiot. The worst idiot around. Ugh.

  I made a diagonal across the grass, wanting to rush away from Mason and the crowd on the sidewalk and find a nice quiet place to clear my head before my next class started. I didn’t make it far before a firm, warm hand wrapped around my wrist, pulling me back and forcing me to stop, a hand whose fingers were thick and strong, able to fully wrap around my slender wrist, and then some.

  Do not look back, I told myself. Do not look back. He’ll just give you a pitying look because you assumed something totally wrong. I did not need to be on the receiving end of a look like that to know I’d fucked up.

  “Bree.” Mason’s voice was soft, tender, and, in spite of the fact I knew I shouldn’t, I found myself looking over my shoulder and meeting his brown eyes. “Stop,” he said, slowly releasing his hold on my wrist.

  I brought my wrist to my chest, rubbing it absentmindedly, wondering why his hand on me had felt so good…almost like Calum’s cheek kiss.

  He stuck his hands in his pockets, taking a single step towards me. “Can I be honest?” He paused, only for a moment, before adding, “Can I be honest without you freaking out again?”

  Uh, that might not be something I could promise him. Knowing me, freaking out happened all too easily. Nothing about my life was easy, so I didn’t know why I thought I had everything under control. I should’ve known something would happen eventually—I just didn’t think more than one thing would happen at once.

  Calum. Mason. I couldn’t handle one of them. How was I supposed to juggle them both, along with faking a general happiness to be alive?

  “Sure,” I said, though I knew I didn’t sound believable in the least.

  “You…you might be right,” Mason slowly spoke, never once breaking eye contact, as if he couldn’t. “I am a little jealous that someone else is taking you out tonight…for the second time. If I’m completely honest, I only wanted to be your partner so we could spend more time together. There’s something about you, Bree. I don’t know what it is, I don’t know why I care so much, but I do, and I can’t change it.”

  I couldn’t breathe. I could not breathe at all as I listened to Mason talk. He sounded utterly serious, and yet…he couldn’t be. He couldn’t really be jealous, he didn’t really want to spend more time with me. There was nothing fun or special about me to merit any sort of jealousy or wanting.

  “Everything I did and said was to spend time with you,” Mason went on. “You might think you’re boring, but you’re not. You are worth it.”

  I wanted to be sick. This was too much. I couldn’t… “I have to go,” I muttered, turning away from him again and rushing off. This time, Mason didn’t stop me. This time, he let me go, let me hurry away from him like I was a mouse running away from a cat who’d somehow cornered me and let me go.

  I was worth it.

  No, no. He was wrong there. I wasn’t.

  Chapter Eight – Calum

  I was in a much better mind space when Friday rolled around than I was the previous week. I had more time to think, more time to prepare myself to spend time with another girl who, I had to constantly remind myself, was not my ex. Bree was not Hilary; it wasn’t fair to take it all out on her. I’d been rude to her last weekend, and I would make it up to her tonight.

  Tonight, everything would be about her. Not me. Not my anger at Hilary or my disappointment in my friend.

  Kyle had been surprised when I’d mentioned it to him earlier in the week, that I was taking Bree out again, this time solo. He’d known something was off between us during the double date, and he’d apologized for trying to push me to date when
it was way too soon.

  And it was too soon. It was far too soon, the wound too recent and ugly, for me to date.

  If that was the case, why was I doing this? Why did I care about making it up to Bree? I had no obligation to her, none whatsoever. She wasn’t even my type. She was the very opposite of the kind of girl I usually went for, but…but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe the girls I normally went for weren’t the ones I should be with. Hilary had shown that enough on her own.

  No, I was going on this date with Bree, and I was going to give it my all. I deserved to have a good time, as did she.

  This time, I dressed up a bit. Threw on a nice, clean button-down shirt after showering. I put a bit of gel in my blonde hair, spiking it up into a fauxhawk as much as its short length would allow. Nice, dark jeans. A bit of cologne. I looked how I should’ve looked last weekend.

  Hopefully Bree would forgive me for my actions last weekend. I hadn’t been nearly as gentlemanly as I should’ve been, and I hated that she got that first impression of me. That wasn’t the kind of guy I was.

  Kyle and his girlfriend had postponed their date so they could see us both off. He practically stalked me as I got ready, watching every move I made. “You do know that Michelle will kill me if you’re a jerk to Bree, right?” he questioned, folding his hands over his chest in the hall, watching me from just outside the bathroom.

  I tossed him a look. “I’m not going to be a jerk, alright? I’m in a better mood now.”

  He was unimpressed. “She damn well nearly killed me for not telling her the moment I found out you and Bree were going out again. She’s very invested in your relationship.”

  I let out a laugh. There was no relationship between Bree and I. We were just two adults going out on a date, hopefully to have a good time with each other. That’s it. I wasn’t looking for a new girlfriend. Plus, I meant what I said before about long-distance relationships.