Sounds of Silence: A Contemporary Romance Page 19

My phone? Ugh, Michelle must’ve turned it on and talked to Mason while I was in the shower, before she hightailed it and went out with Kyle. Great. This was just what I did not need.

  “I don’t,” I whispered, my voice shaking.

  Mason didn’t take the hint, didn’t turn to leave. He only stepped closer to me, moving up the few steps on the porch and staring at me with that knowing expression. “Let’s go inside.” He reached for me, rubbing my arms up and down; he must’ve thought I was cold.

  I was, but that didn’t matter.

  Jerking away from him, I nearly dropped the glass onto the ground. “No.”

  “Fine,” he said, starting to take off his hoodie. “Then take my jacket, because you’re freezing.”

  “I don’t want it.”

  “I don’t care. You’re going to take it.” Mason was never pushy, but he sounded exactly that as he tore the glass out of my fingers and set it on the step he stood on, returning his attention to me as he helped me into the hoodie. He wore nothing but a t-shirt under it, though he didn’t shiver or anything as he looked at me.

  Again, I muttered, “I don’t want it.” Too late now, since it was already around me, warming me up immediately with his heat.

  “What’s going on, Bree?” Mason asked, pleading. “Michelle wouldn’t tell me anything.”

  I met his eyes, wondering, if I told him the truth, what he’d do. Maybe I could cut ties with both of them tonight, kill two birds with one stone, and be free of them. I’d hate myself forever, but at the same time, it was best to let these things go early.

  My eyes threatened to burst again. I had to turn my face away and close my eyes before I whispered, “I’m not seeing Calum anymore.” I nearly said I broke up with him, but he’d never asked me to be his girlfriend, so I stopped myself. The words still felt wrong on my tongue, but that did not change the fact that it was true.

  No more Calum.

  A silent tear escaped, curving down my cheek as it went. Mason must’ve seen it, for the next thing I knew, his arms were around me, and he was pulling me into his chest, holding me there, refusing to let go.

  “What happened?” he asked, his chest humming with the words, and for a moment, I lost myself to the sound.

  “His ex…” I could say no more, my shoulders once again starting to shake as I let my emotions take control of me. I didn’t want Mason to see me like this, but I couldn’t help it.

  Mason’s grip around me tightened, hard as steel as he muttered, “I’ll fucking kill him.”

  “No,” I whispered, my heart hurting inside my chest, “it’s for the best. I knew I’d never…I’d never be able to keep him.” I snaked a hand between us, and though it was the hardest thing I’d ever had to do, I pushed his chest away from me, meeting his eyes as I added, “Or you.”

  “Me?” he asked, shaking his head once. “I’m not going anywhere, Bree.”

  I started to take off his hoodie, my intent to give it back to him and send him off—we’d still have to work on the project, but I could do the rest of it myself and just share the presentation notecards with him—but he stopped me.

  “I mean it,” Mason said. “I’m not going anywhere, no matter what you say. Do you understand? I’m here, and I’m staying—I’m not going to let you push me away.”

  I burst into tears at that, wanting to believe him, but at the same time knowing he had to be lying. He had to. I wasn’t worth it. I really wasn’t worth it. There were so many other girls out there, girls who were prettier and more normal, girls who weren’t broken like me. Why would he want to stick around my side when there were so many other better options out there?

  Mason hugged me close, murmuring, “It’s okay, Bree. I’m here. I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere.”

  The stupid thing was, I believed him.

  I closed my eyes, my tears slowly drying as I found my strength inside Mason. So collected, so calm, even when I was falling apart. Why couldn’t I be more like him? He seemed so sure of himself, too.

  God, I was pretty sure I loved him.

  What made that statement so strange was the fact that I was also pretty sure that I loved Calum.

  Eventually, Mason and I sunk to the steps, sitting on them, leaning on them as he held onto me, refusing to let me go. I felt at home in his arms, like I could temporarily push away all of my worries, all of my doubts. I never wanted to be anywhere else, never wanted to feel anything else.

  My feet were cold, but the rest of me was oh so warm as his arms held onto me, as he rested his chin on my head. We sat there in silence for what felt like ever, the moon slowly inching its way across the night sky.

  I was calmed down, about to fall asleep in his arms even though the position was uncomfortable, but without warning, we weren’t alone.

  Another car pulled up, this one parking on the street since there was no more room in the driveway. I felt Mason shift under me, and he whispered, “Bree…” There was something in his tone I didn’t like, and I pulled away from his chest to look at the newcomer.

  It wasn’t a newcomer. It was Calum.

  He did not look too happy, either.

  Mason released me, allowing me to get to my feet. “What—” I couldn’t get any other words out, because of the storm that was Calum.

  He said nothing, walking up to me with fury in his gaze. His blonde hair appeared almost silver, and before anything else could be said, he grabbed the sides of my head and kissed me with a fire that nearly burned me, a passion that almost fried my very soul. All anger and heat and lust, all rolled up into one.

  “You,” he whispered as he pulled his lips off mine, “are so…infuriating, Bree.” His hands still held onto my head, forcing me to stare up into his eyes. “Hilary came to get me to take her back, and I sent her packing. I don’t want her. I want you.”

  He wanted…me? That just didn’t sound right.

  Calum was slow to drop his hands, watching as Mason moved to stand beside me. The two men glared at each other for a moment, while I was stuck in the middle. Literally—I was in the middle, caught between two handsome men who each, for whatever reason, refused to give me up.

  Hmm. Maybe if I tell them the truth, they’d make this easier on all of us.

  “Stop it,” I said, stepping out from between them, causing them both to look to me. “I don’t…I can’t. I can’t do this anymore.”

  It was Mason who asked, “Can’t do what?”

  Calum stayed quiet, his blue eyes heavy on me.

  I gestured between them. “This. You. Both of you. I can’t—I just can’t do it anymore.” I fumbled over my words like an expert, sounding ridiculous and stupid, and I hated it, just like I hated what I was about to say. “I like you both, and I know you’ll both want me to choose. I can’t.”

  Uh-oh. Here come the tears again. I tried to bite them back, tried to stave them off before they started to fall again. I needed to say this, and I needed both guys to believe me when I said it. This was me being one hundred percent serious; this wasn’t me exaggerating or trying to see what the guys would say in response.

  This was me giving up.

  “I won’t,” I said, taking a step away from them as I wriggled my way out of Mason’s hoodie. I tossed it at him, and he caught it, looking at me like I was insane. “So I think it’s best if I just…stop seeing you both.”

  “Bree—” Mason started, and Calum was much the same, for he spoke, “No—”

  But I was having none of it. I held up my hand, turned on my heel, and hurried back to the house, before the cool night air could swallow me whole. Saying goodbye to them both had been the hardest thing I’d ever had to do in my life, but it needed to be done. It was more than obvious I could never be what they wanted, and choosing one over the other just wasn’t in the cards for me.

  I loved them both, so I’d let them go. They’d be happier without me.

  Neither Mason nor Calum came after me. I shut the front door and locked it, and I stood there, waiti
ng for them to leave, for a little while. Both of my men—though they weren’t mine anymore—stood outside for too long, so eventually I gave up and headed upstairs, buried myself in my blankets and pillows, and tried to sleep.

  Sleep would not come on this night. I couldn’t help but feel like I’d just made the worst mistake of my life.

  Chapter Seventeen – Mason

  Seeing Calum kiss Bree was not something I enjoyed, but after what Bree just said, after watching her walk away, the jealousy in me had faded, replaced by something else. Confusion? Disbelief? I didn’t know.

  All I knew was that I had to get that girl back, had to make her believe that I truly did care for her so damn much.

  I loved her. I did. I really, really did. It had snuck up on me, but now, after hearing what she’d said, I felt hollow inside with the possibility she wouldn’t be in my life anymore. How could anyone want that?

  That was why, after a few minutes of incredulous silence, I turned to look at the man standing beside me, at the man who wore an expression mirroring mine. I’d been jealous of Calum from the start, but…but Bree really did seem to care for him, to need him. When I’d arrived, I’d never seen her look so depressed.

  “Hey,” I said, causing him to snap those blue eyes at me. He and I never really spoke much, but…maybe that should change. “Since you’re already in town, you want to come over and talk?” I glanced at the house, knowing Bree was in there, thinking she’d successfully pushed us both away.

  I didn’t know why she was so adamant about it, but I intended to prove her wrong.

  “This isn’t over,” I whispered, mostly to myself.

  It wasn’t long before Calum said, “Yeah. Let’s go. It’s clear we can’t go on like this. I’ll follow you.” He said nothing else as he got into his car, and I headed for mine, not bothering to put the hoodie back on.

  I drove us to my place, clutching the hoodie hard as I led him up to my door and let us in. Though it was late and I had an early class in the morning—psych with Bree—the last thing I wanted to do was sleep. Calum and I had to figure something out. We had to, for our sake, and for Bree’s.

  “You want anything to drink?” I asked.

  Calum had his hands in his jacket’s pockets, gazing around my place with a pensive expression. “No, I’m good.”

  I nearly collapsed on the couch when I reached it, still holding onto the hoodie, refusing to let it go. Calum was slow to sit on the other end of the couch, leaving a whole cushion between us. He and I weren’t close; we weren’t even acquaintances, but for Bree…for Bree, maybe we could put everything else aside and just focus on her.

  “So,” Calum started, running his palms along his knees, as if he was sweating.

  “So,” I said, leaning back on the couch, wishing Bree was here with us. But she wasn’t, and that’s why we were here to begin with. “You like her?” I didn’t know why I asked; one look at his face, and anyone with eyes could tell he did. I just…I guess I needed to hear it for myself.

  He replied without hesitation: “I do. What about you?”

  “I like her so much I’m in love with her.”

  Calum let out a sigh, and he ran a hand down his face, frowning to himself. “Me, too.”

  “She won’t believe us.” I knew that without a doubt, and yet I still did not want to give up on this girl. To throw her away, to let the feelings I had for her dwindle and die—it was the last thing I wanted to do. “Neither of us, I’m assuming, are willing to walk away?” I spoke it like a question, but it was more of a statement than anything.

  I loved her, Calum loved her; a man in love did not willingly walk away from his girl. Not unless this was the movies and he was trying to keep her safe for some stupid reason you only found out at the end about. This wasn’t a movie, though. This was life, and it was so messy—so messy I contemplated doing something I never imagined doing.

  Officially dating a girl while she also dated someone else.

  “I’m not going anywhere,” Calum remarked, shooting a look at me.

  Yep, that’s what I figured.

  I turned to face him, meeting his azure stare as I started, “We both know Bree isn’t like anyone else. I think…I think she needs us both.” That girl needed love, reassurance, and she needed a lot of it. If I couldn’t be with her twenty-four-seven…I’d at least know she was being taken care of if she was with Calum.

  Would I get jealous? Hell yeah, but that was something I could work on for her. It was something I was willing to try.

  “Both?” Calum said, lifting a blonde brow. “You’re saying…we both date her? She said she didn’t want to choose—”

  “Exactly,” I cut in. “So we don’t make her. We both date her, knowing she’s seeing someone else.”

  “I don’t know. I…my last girlfriend cheated on me, so I don’t know if I could do that, not long-term.”

  Well, at least Calum was honest. It was part of the reason I felt sure enough to say, “So then you’d walk away from her?”

  A muscle in his jaw ticked. “That’s not what I said.”

  “It wouldn’t be cheating if you were aware and okay with it,” I told him. I’d never had a relationship with a girl who’d cheated; then again, I’d never dated a girl while she was simultaneously dating someone else, but for Bree…for Bree I was willing to go outside of my comfort zone, to wrestle with my jealousy and be there for her when she needed me.

  “I know, I just…I don’t know if I could handle it,” Calum muttered, his wide shoulders heaving a sigh. “I didn’t like hearing her talk about you—I know that much.”

  “Same here,” I told him. “But that was when we were competing for her.”

  He shot me a look. “I was never competing.”

  I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes. “You know what I meant though. If we did this, it would be different. We’d both see her, both date her. We’d both be there for her when she needed us.” I pictured her expression, how sad she’d looked, and it hurt just to imagine her so sorrowful. “I really think she does need us. She feels alone, even though she has a loving family. Bree needs us.”

  Calum studied me, his stare taking in every bit of my appearance, my stature, my expression. “You don’t seem so bad,” he finally said.

  I was not sure if I should take that as a compliment or not, but I decided to anyway. “You don’t seem too bad yourself—although I did hear about how horrible your first date was, so honestly, you started off pretty low.”

  He flashed a small grin as he shook his head. “She told you about that, did she? I, uh…I’m not proud of that. My little brother’s been dating her sister for over a year now, and I had just gotten out of a relationship, so going on a blind date was the last thing I wanted to do.” He bit the inside of his cheek as he thought. “I hope, by now, I’ve made it up to her.”

  Silence overtook us for a while, and we sat there for a few minutes, lost in our own heads. At least, I was. All the possibilities, everything Bree could say in response to what I was proposing…I had no idea if she’d like it, or if she’d just look at me like I was crazy.

  “You think she’d go for it?” I asked, shooting him a quick look. “Date both of us?”

  He breathed out a long breath before saying, “I think we’d need to show her that we’re serious, that we mean it. She’s going to think it’s not going to last, and she’s the type who’d rather just give up from the beginning than let things build.”

  “There will be bad times,” I said, knowing it in my soul, “but that doesn’t mean I’m going to give up.”

  “I’m not, either.”

  “Good. So…it’s settled, then?”

  Calum pursed his lips, looking pensive. “I guess so. I guess that means I’ll be seeing a lot more of you, then.”

  “Yeah,” I spoke with a grin, “get used to seeing my face.”

  He chuckled, but I could tell he was still struggling with the whole idea about dating her at the same time. T
echnically, wasn’t that sort of what we’d been doing until now, anyway? It was just official. Or, it would be, once we got Bree to agree to it.

  The only question was…how to prove it to her? How to show her that we were not just playing around when it came to her? She would take some convincing, I knew, but I also knew that I wasn’t going to give up on her, and neither was Calum.

  Bree had no idea what the future held in store for her.

  Chapter Eighteen – Bree

  I slept through class. Well, I didn’t really sleep as I did purposefully stay in bed and wonder what the point of my existence was, but you knew what I meant. I didn’t want to see Mason so soon, not after last night. And Calum…I’d probably never see him again, and knowing that hurt.

  Me. He wanted me, not his ex. I still couldn’t wrap my head around it.

  Mom and Dad left to go to work early, so they didn’t know I was skipping class. Michelle didn’t have any morning classes; she’d been smart enough to schedule hers mostly in the middle of the day, so she could sleep in after hard nights of hanging out with Kyle and doing whatever it was they did all the time.

  It was early afternoon by the time I finally dragged my ass out of bed. I headed across the hall to the bathroom, not even glancing at the mess in the mirror. After showering and not brushing my hair last night, I was certain I looked like a pigsty. An ugly, pink-haired pigsty.

  “Girl,” my sister’s voice broke through the door as she pushed in, nearly causing me to fall off the toilet. Michelle didn’t even seem to care that she’d barged in while I was peeing, nor did she seem to notice the fact that I was glaring at her. “When you’re done, hop in that shower. I have work to do.”

  I blinked, holding my knees together so my sister wouldn’t see anything. “What are you talking about? Why aren’t you in class?”

  “For you, dear sister,” she spoke with a melodic tone, grinning ear to ear like she knew some secret I didn’t. She walked out, shutting the door behind her. “Now shower! And make sure to scrub all those nooks and crannies!”