Loser: A Dark College Bully Romance (Hillcrest University Book 1) Read online

  The look she gave me right then was cold. I couldn’t ever remember a girl giving me that particular look. An expression that said she was unimpressed, unbothered, unperturbed by me and my closeness. “And that’s what you still aren’t understanding about me,” she murmured. She ran her hands down my chest, and even though I fought to remain still, her touch brought a wave of pleasure to me, and I shuddered. “I don’t want you.”

  She didn’t want me. She didn’t want me at all. The look she wore backed up her words, and yet I was still confident as I said, “And I don’t believe you.” And then I lowered my mouth to hers, taking her even though I knew she didn’t want me to. I would’ve devoured her whole if I could, everywhere my skin touched hers a blaze followed.

  No one challenged me. No one told me they didn’t want me. No one denied me in any fucking way. Not once. But Ash? Ash did, and it riled me up in a way I couldn’t describe. It made me want her more than I’d ever wanted someone before. I’d never had to chase anyone; they always flocked to me. She was different.

  Too different. So different it aggravated me and made my dick hard at the same time.

  My tongue ran over her bottom lip; it was all it took to make her kiss me back. The hands on my chest went up to my neck, tangling in my hair, much like they did when we were in my room a few weeks back. Her lips parted, allowing my tongue entrance, and then it was all over. Or it would’ve been, if we weren’t in a public place.

  If a fucking mother of four didn’t just walk by and cough loudly, like we were doing something inappropriate. “There are children around,” she muttered. “If you don’t stop, I’ll call security—”

  I withdrew my mouth from hers, loosening my hold on her head as I turned to glare at the woman and her kids. I really wanted to tell her and her kiddos to fuck off, but I knew doing so would only make Ash think I was some rude, snobby rich boy who thought he could order people around.

  I mean, I was a rude, snobby rich boy who knew I could order people around, but I also knew Ash wouldn’t appreciate it.

  Moving a step away from her, I forced out an obviously fake smile to the mom and her kids as if asking, happy now? The woman scoffed and rolled her double stroller away, her two older kids in tow.

  Talk about fucking annoying. We were finally getting somewhere.

  “So,” I said, slowly returning my attention back to the girl between me and the fence. “Still think you don’t want me?” I waited for her to respond, to say something smart back, but she didn’t. I bet she kept from saying anything because she knew it was all lies. She wanted me, her body wanted me; that was all that mattered.

  She glared at me. “You’re lucky you’re my ride out of here, and that I want my skateboard back.” She sidestepped me, holding up a finger. “Don’t try anything like that again, or I’ll bite that wandering tongue off.” A threat, one I found myself believing.

  This girl…she wasn’t like anyone I’d ever met before. She had her walls up, and she knew exactly when to take them down to draw me in. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she knew how to play the game better than me.

  Insane, I know.

  “Fine, fine,” I said, holding my hands up in surrender. “I’ll stop. No more kissing…but admit, you did like it.”

  “Not as much as you did, apparently.” Ash’s eyes fell below the waist, noting my semi-erect cock. It wasn’t too noticeable, and it would go away soon, so I wasn’t worried about other people seeing it.

  “Come on,” I said, going to grab her hand. “There’s more I want to show you.”

  “No hand holding, either,” she said.

  Fine, fine. I could keep my hands and my tongue to myself…for now.

  I brought her to one of the zoo’s many restaurants. It was mostly fast food type shit, but judging from the way her grey eyes lit up, she liked that kind of food. She ordered chicken nuggets and fries, and quickly tried to pay for herself.

  “Don’t insult me,” I told her, pushing her to the side as I added my own food to the order. While I gave my bank card to the cashier, I happened to glance at Ash. She was frowning, no shocker there, her arms crossed as she glared at me. Not happy about me paying, I guess. The cashier handed us our drinks, and we wandered to the side to wait for our food. “Don’t worry,” I teased her, “this isn’t charity. It’s a date.”

  Ash huffed. “Thought you didn’t go on dates because you don’t date.” She actually sounded bitter, almost like she cared about what my reply would be. I couldn’t help but wonder if she was jealous of all the girls I’d taken home, all the ones who knew what I felt like inside of them. Jealous of the girls who’d called out my name during orgasms and clenched their pussies tight around me.

  I hoped she was.

  Her attitude was both infuriating and alluring. This game with her was going to be fun. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get her so fast—to really make her see the error of her ways would take time. To break her like I was going to break Declan, for fucking embarrassing me in front of everyone, I would be as patient as I needed to be.

  We got our food and chose a table in the shade. “I don’t date,” I said. “But I do know date etiquette.” I watched her dive into her food without hesitation. She apparently had a thing for chicken nuggets. “Should’ve ordered a double thing of nuggets.”

  “I like my nuggets as much as you like being in between girls’ legs,” Ash said, totally, completely serious in every way. It was not what I expected her to say; it actually caught me off-guard.

  She…she made me laugh. Really laugh.

  Ash glanced up, staring at me. Of course she heard my laugh, but the way she looked at me, those fucking eyes could see right through me. I hated it. Hated her. I didn’t like her looking at me like I was some kind of special.

  “So,” I said, breaking the silence, vowing to never laugh again so heartily in her presence, “you asked me about my sex life. Let’s hear about yours.” I took a bite of the burger I’d ordered. It was a bit chewier than I liked.

  “My sex life?” she asked. “Or my dating life? Because unlike you, I’ve had both.”

  I tried to picture her with another guy, and the selfish part of me—which, okay, was the majority of me—couldn’t. I wasn’t saying she was mine, but…well, she was as good as mine right now. She might’ve had a dating life before, but no more. Not until I was done with her. And the sex…I’d give her more than she could handle where that was concerned.

  “Both,” I said. “Let’s start with the sex.”

  Ash rolled her eyes. “Of course you’d start with that one.” She gnawed on another nugget. “It might surprise you, but usually my sex life is tied in with my dating life.”

  “No hooking up?” I asked. It was a good thing there was a table between her line of vision and my dick; it was getting hard again, talking about sex. Talking about sex while near a girl I wanted to fuck led to my mind picturing certain things, like how Ash would look naked. She was small, decently curvy. I bet she’d look amazing.

  “A bit,” she said, shrugging. “But not much. I, uh…I don’t have a good track record when it comes to dating. I never choose the right guys.”

  “What kind of guys do you go for?”

  “Guys like Travis,” she said, and I was stunned. Travis? Really? What the fuck was so special about guys like Travis? He had money, yeah, and tattoos, which I knew some girls liked, but Travis? Come on. He was my friend and all, but he could be odd at times.

  I had to ask, “Why guys like Travis?”

  “I don’t know. There’s just something about them that I like. The bad boys.”

  I leaned an elbow on the table between us, saying lowly, “I’m a bad boy too, Ash.”

  She smirked. “Yes, but you’re not exactly the type of bad boy I’m talking about.” She popped another nugget in her mouth, turning her head to gaze off to the side. The eating area was near the zoo’s tortoises, and the slow-moving turtles were heading towards the mud pit in the center of their
space.

  I didn’t know there was more than one kind of bad boy, although it made sense, considering how different Travis and I were. Travis came from money, but he was…different. Weird. His whole family was weird. Not once growing up did he ever invite me over. It was always Travis coming over to my house. He came over for holidays, because his family didn’t celebrate them. He said his family worked too much, but what they did exactly, I had no idea. Travis was never too forthcoming with the details.

  “What kind of bad boy is your favorite?” I asked, wanting to know why she resisted me so much. Not fully, but enough to have my interest. If she’d been any other girl, I’d have fucked her raw already.

  “The dangerous kind,” she whispered, her eyes still on the tortoises. She slowly moved her grey eyes to me. “And don’t try saying you’re dangerous. I’m sure you have revenge on your mind and on your dick, but it’s not the same. You’re nothing like my last boyfriend.” Her shoulders rose and fell with a shaky breath. “I…I want to talk about something else now.”

  Ash didn’t like bringing up her most recent boyfriend, which made me more intrigued than I’d like. If I scrolled far enough back on her social media profiles, would I find out who he was? I’ll admit, I was tempted, just to see what kind of dangerous her last boyfriend was.

  “We could always talk about our classes,” I offered with a lazy smile, to which she chuckled and threw a fry at me.

  I caught it easily, which made her nod and say, “Nice reflexes. Didn’t think a rich boy like you had any reflexes to speak of.”

  I stuck the fry in my mouth, chewing it slowly. “I think we both know by now I’m not a boy.” That was an understatement. A boy wouldn’t be sporting a boner while thinking of bending Ash over one of these tables and taking her from behind.

  “Then what are you?” she baited me, lifting her blonde eyebrows. Her pink hair swayed in the gentle breeze, and I found myself scooting around the square table to sit beside her. She didn’t move, but I did notice her shoulders tense up.

  I didn’t touch her, but I did lay an arm between her and her food. “Why don’t you feel and tell me?” Hell, I’d be the first to admit that I didn’t think she’d do anything. I thought she’d either laugh and push me away or start swearing at me. But this girl—she did the one thing I wasn’t expecting her to.

  She snuck a hand under the table and felt between my legs, coming to grip me as best she could over my jeans.

  My dick throbbed a bit harder, even though her touch was impeded by fabric. That was so not what I anticipated, but in the best fucking way.

  We were turned slightly in toward each other; everyone around us was too busy in their own lives to notice what was going on under the table. Ash leaned closer to me as she whispered, “Let’s find out just what you are, Sawyer.” Another challenge. This time, though, I’d let her take the reins, as long as she didn’t knee me again.

  My balls still hurt when I thought back to it, and rage still threatened to swallow me up, but I felt her hand move to my belt buckle, undoing it. She also undid my button and zipper on the sly, never once breaking eye contact with me. This could end so badly, but it wasn’t a problem my money couldn’t solve. Her hand moved to my boxers, helping my erection out.

  Ash wanted to see how long I’d last.

  The moment her soft hand gripped my hard shaft, I stifled a moan. I couldn’t make it obvious she was jacking me off under the table, could I? I’d be the first person to admit, I’d never gotten a hand job at the zoo before while surrounded by other people who could see what’s happening if they paid more attention to the people around them, but there was a first time for everything.

  Her hand worked up and down my length, gripping it tightly, her rhythm always changing. Ash watched me all the while, even being so bold as to continue eating while jerking me off. Me? I didn’t dare try to eat, didn’t even think about the food that lay untouched on the other side of the table. The only thing I was focused on was the tiny, ridiculously soft hand going to town on my cock.

  Warmth started to flood me, and my fingers clenched. I felt my balls start to tighten, and I fought it. I fought the pleasure as it dared to take me over completely, but it was too little, too late. The orgasm would not be stopped. It surged through me in a wave of carnality, taking hold of me as cum shot out of my dick. I had no idea where the squirts landed, and I didn’t care. Not one bit.

  It felt too fucking good.

  My cock ached in her hand, even after she released it, still tingly with the post-orgasm feeling. Shoulders slumping, I let out a hard breath, along with a moan I’d been keeping inside while she was running that hand along my dick exactly how I liked it.

  Fuck. I didn’t think I’d ever lasted so…little. So short. Double fuck.

  Ash grabbed a napkin from her tray, wiping off her hand as her grey eyes summed me up. “You sure you’re not a boy, Sawyer? You lasted about as long as one.”

  I resisted my urge to say anything, working to put myself away and buckle my belt. I leaned back, glancing down at my pants. Most of the cum had landed on the underside of the table, I think, but some of it did land on my knee, so I snatched a clean napkin and dabbed it off.

  Ash was all smiles after that. She thought she had me figured out. I was a bit ticked off at myself for not holding out longer, but I just physically couldn’t. Maybe because we were in public, where anyone and everyone could have seen—hell, we could’ve scarred quite a few kids, but we didn’t—so that ramped up the sensuality of it, didn't it?

  Or, I was hesitant to admit, maybe it had more to do with Ash. Perhaps I was so fixated on her, breaking her, making her mine and then getting rid of her, that my dick was ready for her. I refused to think of any other possible reason.

  When the daylight faded completely, I took her to the wooden walkway the zoo had built over its largest lake. Swans and other birds swam in it, but that wasn’t what I wanted to show her. At night, when the weather permitted, the zoo put on a lightshow. They decorated their trees, had plastic animals full of twinkling, colorful lights set up; it was pretty. It used to be something the zoo only did during the summer, but after my parents spoke to some people, greased some pockets, it stuck around longer.

  “My parents paid for this,” I said. All around us were lights of all colors; even over our heads lights were strung up. A giraffe stood to our left, an abnormally-sized ladybug to our right, attached to one of the bright trees. Beyond the lights, the night sky was nearly black. Honestly, I was doing anything at this point to keep my mind off the way her hand had felt around my cock.

  Good. It felt fucking good.

  “Is that supposed to surprise me?” Ash moved to the fence near the ladybug, leaning on it. Her ass looked firm, so ripe for the touching, but I managed to hold myself back as I moved beside her.

  “No, I guess not,” I relented. “Sabrina loved it. Her birthday was in the summer, and every year she’d beg my parents to take her here. They hated doing it, but they couldn’t tell her no.” My mind flashed back, and for a moment, I was lost in the past.

  Sabrina clapping her hands, smiling ear to ear as she ran from animal to animal, ooh-ing and ah-ing at all the lights. My parents standing back, watching it happen. Me rushing to keep by her side, for she tended to wander when you weren’t looking.

  Everything that used to be…gone. I hated it. I’d give anything to get back what we had. The saying was true: you don’t know what you have until it’s gone. When it’s gone, when it’s ripped from your unknowing hands, you finally realize everything you had, and it was far too late to try to get it back.

  “It used to be a summer thing, but they do this for her,” I finally said, back in my own mind, in the present. Ash was still staring at the ladybug, having not seen my momentary lapse. “With enough donations, any institution will bend backward to make you happy.”

  “It’s nice,” Ash said. “Pretty. It’s been a long time since I’ve been to the zoo. My mom and I never came t
o this one. It was too far, too expensive. There was one closer, in the city. It’s nowhere near as clean as this one.” She let out a sigh, taking her time to add, “I understand why your sister liked it here so much.”

  I knocked elbows with her. “You mean you actually had some disposable income to do stuff with? I’m impressed.” I knew insulting her upbringing wasn’t the quickest way to her heart, but I was still reeling from what happened earlier, if I was honest. I couldn’t get the feeling of her hand around me off my mind.

  She shot me a glare. This one wasn’t as harsh as her others; this one was more playful. This particular glare…made my stomach clench, for some weird reason. “Oh, stop it. We didn’t have much, but my mom tried to make sure I had a good childhood.”

  Not having much. It wasn’t something I’d ever understand, not where money was concerned. Not having much when it came to matters other than money—that I knew all too well now. I had nothing. No sister, no real friends. Even though I was surrounded by people most of the time, even though I had girls lining up to hop in my bed, I was alone.

  I was so fucking alone it hurt.

  Chapter Twenty-One – Ash

  During the hour-long drive back to campus, I kept thinking about what I did to Sawyer while we were eating. That was stupid of me, I knew, but I caught him unprepared. Plus, he had to be exaggerating his skill in the bedroom if he came that fast, right?

  I knew how long he was, how thick he was. I didn’t exactly get a peek of it, but I could imagine it well enough.

  Bad Ash. That was a terrible idea. Now I had dick on the brain.

  Sawyer was…infuriating. So overly confident and cocky. I almost believed his pity story at first; I was so glad I realized what he was doing. Using his dead sister to make me feel for him, I couldn’t believe it. How low. What kind of person would do that? That said, as much as he annoyed me, as much as I told him I wasn’t interested, I was. My body craved his, but it was a craving it would go without.