Promised to the Pride: A Shifter Romance Page 14

“What?” I questioned, frowning. That look…too intent on me, too curious. I didn’t want her to be so…so inquisitive about me. Why the hell did she care, anyways?

  “Grizzlies are huge,” she said. “You could’ve died.”

  It was my turn to grow silent, wondering just what the hell she was getting at. Yes, I could’ve died, so what? I didn’t exactly have a lot to live for, not really.

  “Even if you’re a little rough around the edges,” my mate whispered, serious in every way, “I’m glad you didn’t. I’m glad you didn’t die, Jonas.” Her eyes, their blue hue, lingered on me, making me feel…strange. Like she could see into my soul, as if she knew my past and everything it held. She’d seen the photo album, but she had no idea what happened, how I got here.

  It was a touching moment, too fucking mushy-gushy for me. I couldn’t handle it; I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to gaze into those beautiful eyes and see genuine emotion resting there. Just…no. Fuck no.

  I said nothing, grabbing her and forcing her to roll over, putting her on her stomach with her ass in the air. “Enough talking,” I growled out. With her on all fours before me, it didn’t take long for my cock to harden. This time, when I pushed myself into her from behind, I wasn’t so gentle. This wasn’t about bonding. This wasn’t about love. This was about fucking and breeding and mating, nothing else.

  Maybe if I told myself that a few more times, I’d believe it.

  Chapter Twenty – Holly

  The next morning, I woke up in my own bed, alone. Jonas had his fill of me, and then he’d taken me home and left me. It surprised me that he didn’t want his scent all over my bed, since he so obviously was eager to be the first to claim me, but I’d take what I could get. I was still naked, parts of my body sore, but I was comfortable under the sheets. I hugged the pillow closer to my face, sighing into it. When I breathed in through my nose, though, I realized something.

  I wasn’t alone.

  My eyes shot open, and I spotted Nikolas peeking into my bedroom, as if he didn’t know whether or not I was here. He should know, because he should smell me, just as I was able to smell him.

  He smelled like whiskey and tobacco, scents from his job at the local bar.

  Hmm. Maybe it wasn’t morning. Maybe it was late into the day. Maybe I’d slept away more time than I thought.

  When he was aware that I was awake, Nikolas froze, running a hand along his cheek. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. Jonas said he’d call, but he never did, so…” He shrugged his shoulders, and from my position on the bed, I couldn’t help but notice how taut the shirt he wore was. Not a sweater, for once. It highlighted the muscles on him. He was nowhere near the level Jonas was, but he was still a fantastic male specimen.

  I didn’t get up. I just smiled against the pillow and said, “I’m okay. Tired, but okay.” I bit my bottom lip before asking, “What time is it? Did you just come from work?” If he came from work, I bet Aster was still there, still worried about me. My mates cared about me—if Nikolas didn’t, he would’ve already been in this bed, naked and jumping me.

  “I’m off for the night. Aster’s working with Ronda. It’s a little after five.” Nikolas studied me, and even though I was still exhausted from last night, I couldn’t help but feel like I wanted to sit up, bare myself to him, and see what he would do.

  Could my body take another man so soon? Would I have to adjust, or should I just jump into it?

  “Do you…” It seemed to get more difficult for Nikolas to speak as the time wore on—maybe because he could see the imprint of my body beneath the sheets. He probably didn’t realize before now that I was naked under them. “Do you want something to eat? I’m not nearly as good at cooking as Aster, but I can try to whip something up.”

  I knew eating would be a good thing, to keep my energy up, so I nodded. “That would be great, thank you.” Nikolas waited a moment, lingering for a bit before he left the tiny bedroom, and I heaved a silent sigh as I sat up. Once I was dressed, I meandered into the bathroom and did my business, freshened up a bit. When I caught sight of my reflection in the mirror, I stopped.

  I looked tired, but…honestly? Not nearly as bad as I thought I looked. I figured I’d look exhausted, especially considering how my body felt, but I didn’t. The bags under my eyes were not that much bigger. Maybe because I’d slept the whole day away.

  With my bare feet, I tiptoed out of the bathroom, finding Nikolas in the kitchen, cooking something in a pan. Meat, by the smell of it. He turned his head and met my eyes, giving me a soft smile, which I instantly returned before moving to sit on the couch in the living room. Still didn’t have a TV, but at least I wasn’t alone. I really should text Lumi, see how she’s doing. With the last day being so hectic, I’d totally forgotten to message her back.

  But by the time I’d decided to get up and go get my phone, Nikolas was sitting by my side. “Fifteen minutes, it should be done,” he said. “Do you want anything else with it? I know when I first turned, I wanted to eat a lot of meat.” He sat on the cushion beside me, and yet he was careful not to touch me.

  “I’m sure whatever you’re making will be fine,” I said, not wanting to be too picky. The urge to lean into him, to smell him, was a strong one, and it took every ounce of self-restraint to hold back. “When did you first turn?” It was immensely difficult to hold a conversation when my inner leopard just wanted to throw myself at him.

  “I was fifteen,” Nikolas said, rubbing his jaw, lost in his memories. I knew what happened to his parents, how hunters had found them and made him and Aster orphans, and I didn’t want to bring that up again. Those memories must be painful.

  Jonas had to be hiding some painful memories of his own, but he seemed to want to keep them tucked close to his chest.

  “You’ll get used to turning. Soon enough, it’ll be quick and painless, and you’ll enjoy doing it,” Nikolas went on, oblivious to the fact that I was lost in my own head now. How hard it must’ve been, for him and Aster, to come here after losing their parents.

  God. Hunters were real. This was the twenty-first century, and we were hunted as if we weren’t people. Granted, we weren’t human, but we were sentient. We were human-like. We weren’t like the animals corralled and butchered for meat.

  “Just to be clear,” he added, “I did mean shifting, not—” His fumbling stopped the moment I raised my gaze to his. His eyes were such a pretty blue. A different shade of azure than mine, but beautiful and clear, a color you could lose yourself in.

  “I know,” I whispered. I reached for him, drawing a hand down his arm. I knew Nikolas was being a gentleman, wanting to make sure I was okay after being with Jonas, but honestly, Jonas wasn’t that bad. He got a little rough, but nothing traumatizing. Nothing that made me tense up when I thought about it. My body was sore, but I wanted…

  God, it was stupid, and I totally blamed the fact that I could feel my inner leopard practically mewling in heat, but I wanted Nikolas. I wanted him in the same way that I’d had Jonas. Or, rather, that Jonas had me.

  “Holly.” The way he spoke my name made me sigh, like it was an important word, one of the most important things he’d ever spoken. Something to be taken and cherished, protected at all costs. “Don’t feel obligated to…I’m okay with waiting.”

  “And if I said I didn’t want to wait?” I suggested, his scent stronger now that he sat so close. I didn’t mind the slight scent of whiskey or tobacco and smoke. I knew he didn’t smoke, and the alcohol was just from his job. It wasn’t him, but it made him. It made me want to lean in and breathe him into my lungs.

  The real question would be whether fifteen minutes would be enough time, if Nikolas would be able to tear himself away from me to tend to the food. I guess we’d find out, if I had my way.

  I could hardly recognize myself, being so suggestive. This wasn’t me—but maybe it was the new me. The post-shift me. Maybe I’d be horny all the time…or maybe I just wanted
my mates to claim me.

  “Holly,” Nikolas warned. This time my name came out different, lower, rougher. This time I knew I’d crossed the point of no return. I could see a growing imprint in his jeans, and I knew there would be no turning back now. I’d turned him on too much by suggesting I didn’t want to wait.

  It was fine. I didn’t want to wait. My body might be sore, but I could keep going. I’d slept all freaking day. I’d be fine.

  “It’s okay,” I whispered, feeling a warmth start to grow in my lower gut. It was a new sensation, a type of anticipation I only had because I knew what was coming, because I knew what to expect. Because I was not so innocent anymore. These guys were my mates, and they would see me as I was.

  We could mate as humans before dinner, eat, and then he could claim me in our leopard forms after. Seemed a good idea, no?

  Nikolas’s chest rumbled with what I could only describe as a hum. A type of purr, and I closed my eyes as he leaned over me, pushing me down on the couch. I felt his breath on my face before his lips touched mine, and for a long while, I lost myself in the feeling of his mouth on mine. His hands roamed my body, and I responded by arching my back. He pressed his hips down on me, grinding a hard erection against my midsection, and I let out a whimper into his mouth.

  I had the feeling that if I told him I wanted to stop, he would, even though it would be one of the hardest things he’d have to do in his life. Pulling back now, when he had sex on his mind, an erection on his cock, would be near impossible, but he would do it for me. He was thoughtful like that, and I appreciated him and Aster more than he could ever know.

  “Are you sure?” Nikolas asked once he broke our lip lock. His eyes gazed down at me, his almost white hair ruffled and messy.

  I nodded. I was as sure, as ready as I would ever be. No stopping, no turning back. My inner leopard wanted his, and I’d be a liar if I said there hadn’t been any attraction before I’d shifted. This had been a long time coming.

  He worked at my jeans, tugging them down in seconds, along with my underwear. Everything that blocked the most important part of me he tore off like an animal. It was a side of him I’d never seen before, and it only made the warmth flooding me intensify.

  Nikolas didn’t even bother with my shirt; he was intently focused on everything below the waist, even on himself. He let out a grunt when he pulled his own pants down, and there was no hesitation, no trepidation as he pushed inside of me. I moaned as he filled me up, having already forgotten what it felt like to be full, completed by a mate. I moved my hands around the back of his neck, staring at the ceiling until I closed my eyes.

  His voice fluttered into my ear, warming me in places his cock couldn’t: “You are everything, Holly. Everything.” A sweet nothing, made a little less sweet due to the fact that he was ramming himself into me again and again, taking me as only a mate truly could.

  My mate. I wanted him to take me, to claim me, to have me however he wanted. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I was subservient, that I enjoyed being submissive, but to my mates…if that’s what they wanted, it was what I would be.

  The couch rocked along with our bodies, and we were too lost in each other to pay attention to the time. I didn’t care if the food burned. Right now, all I wanted was him, and I had him right where I needed him so desperately. Every time he withdrew from me and pushed back in, he let out a deep-throated groan, and I let his groans wash over me, take hold of me and refuse to let go.

  I could handle this life. This life wouldn’t be too bad. I was worrying all for nothing.

  It both felt too soon and not soon enough: when Nikolas came, he pushed inside as far as he could go, filling me up to my core, trembling as his orgasm swept through his body like a storm surge of pleasure, building and building until it had nowhere else to go. Sweat lined his brow, and he had to close his eyes as he let out a moan, his seed filling me, coating my inner walls, claiming me.

  Nikolas nearly collapsed on me, and he was sluggish in pulling himself out. He nearly fell off the couch as he rolled off me, shooting me a sloppy smile. “That was…I wasn’t expecting that.” He sounded out of breath, impressed, and happy. He wasn’t expecting the sex, but he was more than happy to get it.

  I didn’t move, not wanting to break the sappy feeling growing inside of me as I stared at him. I watched as he fumbled with his pants, stuffing his cock away, and hurried down the hall. Sounded like he opened the linen closet, and it wasn’t but a moment later when he emerged, carrying a hand towel, which he promptly used to clean me up.

  I stayed quiet, rather liking the attention. Jonas hadn’t cleaned me up, although, to be fair, Jonas went at me for a lot longer and it was obvious he didn’t give a shit about his own cum seeping from my core.

  Nikolas practically dropped the towel on the floor when he smelled the air. “Shit. Your dinner.” He darted into the small kitchen to try to salvage it, and I worked to pull up my pants. It was a few moments later when he returned to my side, carrying two plates. Looked like some kind of hamburger, mashed and mixed with a bit of melted cheese. “The meat is a little overdone. I’m sorry.”

  Sending him a genuine smile, I said, “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure it’ll be good—and even if it isn’t, it was worth it.”

  He shot me a look at that one, to which I could only smile more.

  I knew we didn’t talk about him claiming me in our leopard forms, but I also figured we didn’t have to. We just had sex, so after we ate and refueled our bodies, we would continue. That was the plan.

  Yep, that was the plan…and yet, when our plates were empty and Nikolas’s blue eyes were on me, I couldn’t do it. I’d taken off my clothes, cracked the door open—started to shiver uncontrollably—and I just couldn’t do it. I could feel my inner leopard wanting to break free, telling me it was time to shift, but I just couldn’t. Regardless of how hard I tried to concentrate, nothing came.

  No shift. No leopard—just me, standing there naked, shivering.

  My teeth started to chatter, and I met Nikolas’s worried gaze. He hadn’t taken off his clothes yet, wanting to watch me, but now the look he wore was not one of carnal want or desire. Now he only looked concerned.

  He went to close the door, locking out the outside air. Night had fallen, and I felt stupid. Defective. Like something was wrong with me. I should be able to shift—the first time was random, but any other time should come when I will it. This…this wasn’t right. Something had to be wrong.

  “I can’t shift,” I whispered, holding my chest.

  Nikolas moved to my side, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me to his chest. I buried my face against the crook of his neck, breathing in his whiskey and tobacco scent, absorbing his warmth.

  I was a snow leopard shifter. I shouldn’t be so cold still.

  “Don’t worry about it,” he said, running a hand along my head, petting me. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. Don’t stress over it, okay?” He sounded genuine, but I couldn’t help but feel like he was just telling me what I wanted to hear.

  “But—” I wanted to bring up the claiming, how it would be truly impossible while I couldn’t shift, but Nikolas shushed me.

  “Holly, it’s okay. The claiming can wait. My first and only priority is making sure you’re okay.” Nikolas paused, lost in thought. “I wonder if the Pride has heard of something like this happening before. Maybe I should contact them.”

  I didn’t want him to contact the Pride. What if they decided I was defective and told him to stop sending money to my parents for Lumi? What if they tossed me out and got a new mate, one who could shift without a problem? A female who was better than me? The mere thought of any of my mates with another woman was not a pleasant one; it made my gut twist in pain.

  “No,” I whispered. “Just…give me some time.”

  Nikolas nodded. “I bet it’s because you waited so long to shift. Your parents should’ve turned you a few years ago.”

  Whether or not that was
true, I didn’t know. All I knew was that my problems here were only just beginning.

  Chapter Twenty-One – Aster

  I shouldn’t have to tell you how difficult it was to focus on work when I had a mate who couldn’t shift, but then again, maybe I should—because, until Holly, I’d never heard of a shifter having trouble shifting. It was kind of what we did, in our nature. It was who we were, our inner animals coming out. It’s what made us shifters and not regular old humans.

  Holly couldn’t shift. It’d been a few days since she and Nik had this revelation, and each day she tried to shift. Tried to practice, but she failed, no matter who she was with. Jonas, Nikolas. Tonight was my turn again, and I couldn’t help but hope that something would miraculously go right and my beautiful mate would be able to turn like she was meant to.

  I also knew why Nik wanted me to leave work early and go to her. Holly and I hadn’t, uh…well, we hadn’t yet sealed the deal, so to speak. Been together. Mated. Fucked. Whatever you wanted to call it. And it wasn’t because I was nervous…it was because…

  Okay, maybe it was because I was a little nervous, but it was also because I didn’t want to put pressure on her. I knew she was probably worried sick about not being able to shift, so I didn’t want to put even more weight on her shoulders by demanding to mate with her. I wasn’t that kind of guy, even if my older brother side-eyed me for it.

  Today, Holly had come with Nik to the bar. She was all bundled up, sitting on the last barstool, looking like she was freezing. Now wasn’t our busy time—it was early afternoon, so we had a few regulars who ate a late lunch, along with a few that drank no matter the time of day. Out of the twenty tables the place had, five of them were full, and one of them had a lone guy sitting, smoking as he read the paper—I recognized him. He’d become a regular a few weeks back.

  That was the thing about this place—everything became routine, a habit. Holly broke up that monotony, and I couldn’t imagine my life without her in it, even if she couldn’t shift. Even if I could never truly claim her. That didn’t matter. I cared about her. That’s all that should matter, not any of that other stuff.